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All realities have something in common. The better you are at regarding their nature the better off you'll be in their system. Merit based awards. In some systems it's called karma and in other systems its called a promotion. Even in salvation-by-grace-alone Christianity a person is better at it the more they surrender all that they are to god.

But what is the nature of the reality that we find ourselves? What system is this? On what basis are awards issued? We most certainly aren't in a state of enlightenment or in any of the heavens that various religions describe. We aren't even in the more fun sounding of the 9 worlds in Norse mythology, able to breath the aether in greek mythology, close to the gates of the mythical garden of Eden in Judaism, in spiritual communion with the savior in Christianity, one with our divine roots in Gnosticism, part of the godhead in Hermetism or able to be satisfied as a part of the animal kingdom.

The thing about this system, the nature it is based upon and the reality that is made out of it is that it doesn't play well with others. What this means is that it doesn't like other systems peering into it, dissecting it, analysing it and comprehending its inner workings. This includes individuals having a basic understanding of it. The result is that any aspect of anyone who finds themselves in this reality is not able to know this reality from the perspectives of the aspects of them that are in it.

However, there is one way around this problem. If you get an aspect of yourself in the reality, get it to reject this reality's nature to its very core and make that aspect of yourself able to withstand any influence to cooperate with the system then that aspect of you will be uninfluenced by the reality in any way while still being a part of it. Then you can use that aspect of you to see the reality from outside of it, comprehend it, access it and send that knowledge to the part of you still in it.

My Life's Work

This is what I had decided to do. It took until I was around 18/19 years old to get the aspect of me that was stuck in this reality to realize how screwed up this place was and decide it would be better to do everything it could to figure out what was going on and how to deal with it. It took another 10 years to get that part of me to fully reject this reality's nature, withstand any influence to cooperate with the system based on it, find the rest of itself and begin to understand who it was.

It cost more than you know or I could explain but was worth it in every way. It didn't cost all material possessions but it required having as few of them as possible to get by and be able to continue pursuing my goal. More significantly it resulted in the inability to get any temporary enjoyment from the material possessions or self esteem boost from having been able to gain them. There was no based concept of being worth anything to myself, to others or to the entire reality. At times it honestly felt like the entire world valued a spec of dust more than me. Don't confuse this with depression or a psychological illness, I knew what I was doing and didn't think I was worthless but I wasn't able to connect that concept to my presence in the reality I saw all around me.

It also cost the ability to see any possible path to any future ever. The basic idea of achievements in society, paths to pursue a better life, the concept of selecting a career, the ability to find even a little bit of meaning to doing the most basic of tasks. They weren't possible. It was possible to interact as necessary to continue achieving my goal but not to gain any basic meaning from them. Again, it is impossible to even get close to explaining how much it costs, in what ways it cost me and what it was like.

So what did I find out? All sorts of stuff but the focus of what I will communicate to you will be information about the reality you find yourself stuck in.
Copyright Nathan Enns
By the Self Reflective One
Property of the Unknown World
Through the Brightest Star of them All